23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time
By Fr. Victor Feltes
There’s an amusing meme or running joke online quoting the many “Things Jesus Never Said.” These quips can be snarky and insightful. For instance, Jesus didn’t say at the Last Supper, “This is sorta like my body.” Jesus never said to the crowds, “Don’t follow me until you’re perfect.” Jesus didn’t say, “I only care about people who look like me.” Jesus didn’t say, “You can tell whom I love most by who has the most money.” Jesus didn’t say, “No one comes to the Father except through me but others’ opinions about this are all equally valid.” Jesus didn’t say, “Live your truth and do whatever makes you happy.” Jesus didn’t say, “Serving me will always make you popular.” In the style of this meme, let’s retranslate today’s Gospel into things Jesus never said:
“If someone sins against you, go ahead and tell anyone and everyone about that fault, except for that one person alone. (The offending person might not listen to you and giving them the silent treatment guarantees this.) Instead of talking to that person, connect with one or two others (over coffee, on the phone, on social media, or during a work break) to testify to your personal grievance. If your allies listen to you, your gossip may spread throughout your whole community. And that person who offended you—who is surely and always 100% in the wrong—will be treated like a tax collector or a telemarketer.”
All of that, of course, is not what Jesus said. Jesus tells his disciples: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.” Approaching someone privately avoids public embarrassment so the other person is more likely to hear you, and approaching someone directly allows them to explain themselves. Maybe you will come to understand each other better and the issue will be resolved. And that’s a win!
“But,” Jesus says, “if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you…” Having another person or two with you for this next conversation may help to mediate a solution to the matter or help you and your offender see the issue more objectively. Interpersonal conflicts are often not entirely one person’s fault, and even if one person is more at fault, recognizing one’s own role in the conflict can result in more peaceful resolutions.
After that, Jesus says, “If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector.” Rather than taking ordinary conflicts immediately to the highest level, see if an issue can be resolved at a lower level between you. This approach will result in less resentment and more community harmony, and where true peace is possible, that is Christ’s will for us. But sometimes an offender’s obstinacy makes that peace impossible, so corrective consequences or punishments should follow. Like a father disciplining his children for their own good, correcting others can be an obligatory act of love.
Another thing Jesus did not say is: “Tolerate one another as I have tolerated you.” Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you.” Loving people and just tolerating their behaviors are different things. If a thirsty person is about to drink a cup of poison, what should we do? Remain silent and detached, or rather say, “Stop, please! That will kill you. Please let me help you, here’s water instead. I care about you”? We are called to love people enough to call and help them toward conversion and fullness of life.
In today’s first reading, God tasks the Prophet Ezekiel to be a watchman for Israel. Whenever the Lord commands Ezekiel to warn his wayward neighbors, if Ezekiel refuses to speak, Ezekiel is told he will be held responsible for the sinner’s death. Now it does not appear that the Lord was expecting Ezekiel to personally, individually correct every sinner in Israel, and it would be unrealistic to expect you or me to fraternally correct every sinner in America today. However, if there’s a case where we suspect our intervention could greatly bless someone or save their soul, how can we be silent? If a poison is poison, we ought to say so. If we refuse to intervene when we could have helped, we may be judged someday for that dereliction of duty. And consider how wonderful it will be to be the catalyst for others’ conversions and salvation.
In addition to what Jesus taught in today’s Gospel, here are three tips for fraternal correction: First, share the truth with love. Hitting people on the head with your “truth bat” makes it harder for them to hear you. People often only care what you believe if they believe that you care about them. So share the truth with love.
The second tip is the importance of giving personal witness. Pope St. Paul VI wrote that “modern man listens more willingly to witnesses than to teachers, and if he does listen to teachers, it is because they are witnesses.” If you want to be heard, do not just talk the talk but also walk the walk.
And a third and final tip for fraternally correcting others is to pray. Pray for courage and wisdom and opportunities to help others this way. God wills us to be his ambassadors and instruments of mercy, love, and reconciliation. So pray for God’s grace to be effective in fraternal correction.
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